March Goals

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At least things are heading in the right direction. As long as it keeps heading down, I will eventually get there. I am not exactly sure where ‘there’ is. The target weight was assigned by the app.

Let’s talk goals. On a recent podcast, an ‘expert’ said that things like remodeling your bedroom are not goals. Merriam-Webster defines goal as ‘something that you are trying to do or achieve.’ I want to achieve a few things this month. They may not be huge life changing goals, but I want to get them done. Sometimes I procrastinate getting things done, therefore these are goals for me. Without further ado, my list.

Plant vegetable seeds – It is March in sunny Florida…enough said.

Order new phones – My husband and I are both overdue for new phones. I still have a Windows phone, which I do like, but it has become quirky.

Lose 5 pounds – I think that is doable. If I don’t get there, I am not going to beat myself up.

Organize the kitchen pantry – I realized two things today. We have a lot of junk food in the house which is not conducive to weight loss and it is a big old mess. Not that it wasn’t a mess before today, but in the search for something half way healthy to many things had to be taken out and moved around.

Figure out Pinterest – I am not very social media savvy. I do have a Twitter account, though.

Make a Gynecologist appointment and a Dermatology appointment – Last year my husband had some skin cancer removed. I vowed to make a Dermatology appointment because it has been several years since I had one. Six months later and I still haven’t gone. I grew up under the Florida sun wearing tanning oil with no SPF. I need to go!

Septic tank service – We think our septic tank might need to be pumped out. We need to get it taken care of before we have a big problem.

Sorry there are no glamorous goals. Perhaps next month I can look for a tiara and scepter. Until then it is septic tanks and digging in the dirt. What do you have planned for March?

Planning a Better You

My husband regularly says he isn’t perfect but he is trying to do a little better every day. What a great motto.

So you want a better version of yourself? I sure do. There are a few things I would like to work on to be a better me.

Wait my turn

I know I am doing it but sometimes I can’t seem to stop myself. I interrupt people when they are taking. It is the number one thing I want to work on. It is so rude. I am ashamed I have a problem with it.

Just plain weight

It goes way beyond just wanting to look better. I am on blood pressure meditation and the only reason is my weight. It is a health issue. I want to be around for my family. If looking better is a side effect, I am ok with that.

Family

In the depths of depression, I am sure I wasn’t the best wife and mother. Now that I have the depression under control, I want to make sure that I am working to improve at both roles.

Work harder

I want to work on staying focused and not be so distracted at work and home. I have some big goals for work and it will take some hard work to make them happen. At home I want to get the garden going again. That is also hard work. I don’t want to subscribe to that saying work smarter not harder. I think both are important.

I am not aiming for perfection. I just want to follow my husband’s words of wisdom and simply do a little better each day in all areas of my life. The ones I listed are high priorities but I want to be better in all aspects of my life.

What do you want to improve?

Black and Silver Paper Beads

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One day I hope to create beads that are spectacular. Beads worthy of being pinned up on Pinterest. Beads worthy of being strung together and worn.

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I am still learning and this batch taught me a lot. For one, nail polish can be used to add color to the paper. Most of the tutorials I have watched used markers. I also learned that sometimes black paper is not true black paper.

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The black cardstock that I used had a white center that can be seen on the cut edges. I might try to do them again without the silver and see how that looks.

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Black and silver is one of my favorite color combinations. What colors do you like together?

Rush Rush Rush

The world is always in a hurry.

Today on my drive home from work, I am stopped at a red light. The light turns green. I am actually paying attention to the fact that it has turned green. I look around to make sure nobody is going to T-bone me if I pull out into the intersection. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

Really? The light just turned green. I am not waiting on a particular shade of green. I just want to make sure moving forward won’t send me to my death because of a red light runner.

During Christmas vacation, my daughter and I went out shopping much later then we normally would. Traffic was very light. We came to a red light. I stopped with the intention of just briefly stopping and then turning on the red light. There was no traffic coming. The moment my car came to a complete stop, the driver behind me lays on the horn and pulls around me. I wasn’t camping out here, buddy. I was simply stopping at the red light. It is the law, you know.

Then there are those people that pass you like you are standing still, only to see them again when they get caught at the same red light.

Don’t forget the people that are complaining when there is one person in front of them in the checkout line.

I have a friend that once told me she is always rushing. Even when there is all the time in the world to do something, she can’t turn off the rush mode. She didn’t know why she was always in a hurry.

I spend more time trying to hurry along my teenager then actually hurrying myself. I try not to feel rushed. I wait patiently in lines. I try to leave in plenty of time to get where I am going. On school days, we are sometimes running late but once we get in the car, I am going to go the speed limit and not pass people like a mad women to try get there faster. Sometimes it means I am a few minutes late for work. Luckily, my employer is very lenient about those kind of things.

Most of us have to much stress in our life. Simply slowing down can reduce it.

My daughter says it best. When I tell her she is out of minutes for something, she tells me we are never out of minutes. That is almost true. As long as you are breathing, there are more minutes.

Paper Beads – The Learning Process

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I bought some new bead making tools. I like them so much better than the gadget I was using before. I have so much more control over the paper as it is rolled.

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I love this marbled paper. After watching a few youtube videos, I decided to buy a cutting mat, metal cork backed ruler, and an Exacto knife. The woman demonstrating the technique made it seem so simple to cut without making lines to follow.

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I had a bit of trouble in the beginning. I had quite a few cuts that weren’t quite right. Apparently it isn’t as simple as it seems.

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After a while, I got the hang of it. Running the Exacto knife down the side of the ruler is much faster and straighter than trying to do it with scissors.

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Most of the beads are shaped like I wanted, small and round. There are a few rogue ones in the bunch that were made with paper I cut wrong.

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I need some more practice. They are not exactly symmetrical. I don’t think the small beads are as pretty as the paper they were made out of.

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I made a batch of bigger beads to see if I liked them better. I think the larger ones do look a bit better.

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I think next time I need to trim the point of the triangle before I start rolling the bead. That will make them look a bit cleaner and neater.

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Which do you like better?

Pretty in Pink

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When I was in my teens and twenties I cross stitched. When I was in my thirties I bought cross stitch charts…lots of charts. I bought them all with the intention of doing them one day. Most were for big elaborate pieces. I got rid of them in my forties. We remodeled and I purged a lot of things in the process. It still hurts a bit. It is like unfulfilled dreams. Even if I wanted to cross stitch now, I couldn’t. All those tiny squares and symbols are to much for my forty five year old eyes.

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Paper beads are getting me back in touch with my former crafty persona, the crafty Candace I once considered myself. In the years since my daughter was born, crafty Candace peeked out once in awhile. My daughter was a active Girl Scout for 9 years. I was very active with her. I was even the troop leader for her last year of Juniors. That was a very crafty year. I also learned to crochet several years ago. I have to force myself not to horde yarn like I used to horde those cross stitch patterns.

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The bead on top was made with my bead making gadget. The bead on the bottom was rolled with just my fingers. I prefer the bottom one. It is tighter and more even.

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I am looking forward to the next batch already.

One down, eleven to go

Something odd happened. I blinked and January is almost over.

Overall, I am pretty happy with how things have went. I feel like a totally different person then I did two months ago…before antidepressants. I read that you might not be sad anymore once you start on medication, but you aren’t happy either. You are just feel numb. I felt like that for a few weeks. Lately I have felt so happy that it is slightly annoying at times. I know that sounds weird. I am so happy I annoy myself. It isn’t lasting annoyance, just a brief moment then it is gone. I will take it over the uncontrollable anger I felt before.

 I have had more energy, too. I have been channeling it into some walks with my daughter and a daily to do list. I keep an index card on my desk at work and add things to the list throughout the day. I usually don’t finish everything on the list, but I am doing more around the house on a daily basis then I have in years.

This week we had to replace our dryer. After a year or so of squeaking, it decided it was done. It will be delivered tomorrow. I wasn’t ready to buy a dryer, but at least I can cross one 2016 goal off my list.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!!

I’m Candace. I have been a wife for 21 years and a mother for 15. Somewhere during those years, I lost who I am.

2015 was a trying year. I don’t expect the beginning of 2016 to be any better. My fifteen year old daughter and myself are battling depression. When it finally got bad enough for me to go to the doctor, I was immediately put on antidepressants and suddenly my world is a lot better. Unfortunately, it has not been that easy for my daughter. It has been several months since we started the process with her and we are still going thru a series of appointments with different professionals trying to get her the relief she needs. It has been frustrating to say the least.

I will continue to advocate for my daughter’s health in 2016. I would also like to devote more time to finding myself. Here are some goals I am setting for 2016.

Myself

  • Walk at least 5 times a week (I was told by my doctor and my daughter’s councilor that it would be beneficial.)
  • Be diligent about taking my medication. (I take the antidepressant and something for lowering blood pressure. Before the antidepressant, I was kind of sporadic about taking the blood pressure medication.)
  • Turn off electronics 30 minutes before bed.
  • Be diligent about my periodontal maintenance. I have had some issued. I need to floss daily and use the special rinse that I was told to use 5 months ago and have only done about twice.)
  • Bring lunch from home at least 4 of 5 work days.
  • Lose weight. (I know, very cliché. I need to lose about 100 pounds to be on the high side of a normal weight range.)
  • Save $20 a week from my weekly ‘allowance’ to use for rewards for losing weight.

Family

  • Try a new recipe every week. (My daughter is sick of the things we have regularly.)
  • Have a family vacation with my husband’s sister and her family. (I have mixed feelings about this.)
  • Save $20 a week to help defray the cost of said vacation.

Household

  • Buy a new dryer.
  • Be more diligent about keeping things tidy.
  • Grow something edible in the garden.

I look forward to spending 2016 with you. I wish you and yours the best the world has to offer.